God spoke something.....

I had a conversation with god,Only I could do is, to ask for few things...

I asked him, to give me happiness,

No reply came,

I asked him, to give me strength,

No reply came,

I asked him, to give me power,

No reply came,

I asked him, to give me knowledge,

No reply came,

I asked him, to give me money,

No reply came,

I asked him, to give me friend,

No reply came,

I asked him, to give me everything I could include in my list,

No reply came,I asked, y r u said to be god then,U never give me anything,

There came a reply, even god has only 2 powers...to give only 2 things...I give u life...and I give u..urself..

Silent talk

Most of my posts have been window of emotions or happenings of my life or life I have been surrounded with, it's always nice to pen down things which are difficult to express or are best suited to remain silently on paper or in form of writing..

I have been working with cancer, as i revealed it in my previous post. It involves karyotyping, a technique of studying chromosomes at metaphase stage of cell division, mainly helps in determining any chromosomal abnormalities, which in turn gives idea about any significance it is associated with. In a way it is quite interesting to deal with such study, however can get stressful at times, as it does involves observing under microscope for a pretty long stretch of time.

As it has been initial of my working so have to practice identification of each chromosome at regular intervals, so can make it bit boring. As I have continued with this practise every day, there's something which i could sense with every next observation. Once it was almost time to leave & having a normal tendency of leaving from work as early as possible so it made me to think of avoiding my schedule & skip my practice for that day, also it was time which was filled with loads of emotions which were running through me at that particular time, fortunately it was my guide, a person who is good enough to propel me to give extra bit of hardship for current situation for more easier & comfortable future with respect to my project, who directed me to finish my work before making my way to home.

It was usual observation under microscope of a slide, which had stained preparation of chromosomes, fixed at metaphase stage. I can truly recollect initial few moments which were like years for me, as it was against my wish, as time went by & I started making note of each chromosome there was unusual sense which was clicking in my mind, a unusual sound being fumbled in my ears, it was complete madness for few of those moments with no one near me still being able to hear something, which sounded so friendly, forcing me to desire for more of it. I was in utter confusion but was liking every bit of it.

The words which I could hear were like, " It is pretty common that many of them with high end knowledge bearing people observe us, identify us, make great interpretations, give breath taking conclusions, however few of them have made a small difference to their own life. It can be amazing for imagination that we can occupy such a small part of entire body formation, if seen in normal person's outlook, but control every aspect of life, we stand for life, we are just few in numbers yet make a difference with slight change in number or even with variation in each of us.
We vary among us with each standing for it's own purpose. It has a role to play, which is related to maintaining homeostasis, so if we can be so important & if each life form has so many of us in number if considered in terms of entire body or each cell, it's really simple to apply logic that how much importance a entire living organism can bear, how much capability does one possess, though different people or life forms vary, it's important to bring some kind of relation among each other to allow survival of everyone in this beautiful creation. There's no reason to consider one's own self as unimportant, with same feeling should be harboured for others. If we have so much being gifted by nature, it's more important to put it for purpose, which if realized would certainly change outlook towards life, not with respect to only one person but everyone bypassing or coming in contact. If we as small entity can make so much difference to life, the level of amplification at human level can be so enormous, so many people can be blessed even if single person stands to put this things in practice, not only in respect to one's own life, but with a view of giving that extra bit in everything which we can try for...."

I really can't have my say in it, neither I can draw much of conclusion except that though after reading this post any one would suggest me to consult a good doctor, I can definitely say that whatever time I had given for this amazing experience would remain time for me to cherish & definitely make a difference in my outlook. It was a silent talk which made a very loud impact on my life.

Emotions undefined

I am writing this post in mid of a major transformation happening in my outlook towards life.

Currently I have involved myself with training with being fortunate of carrying out in one of choice, with field of studying being cancer, analyzing it through genetic abnormalities. I have my hands full as, I had always wished to become a doctor & completing it through KEM hospital, Mumbai, so in a way i am into my dream some way or other.

This phase is becoming part of life with a promise to live me rich with a memorable experience.
In a way i am extremely happy on a part of getting such a opportunity, on the other hand, as there always 2 sides to any aspect, it puts me in emotional turn moil to watch so many people suffering from only a single type of cancer, with specially small kids, who even haven't yet experienced life, have been subjected to such dilemma. The number of cases being uncovered for this particular cancer are getting more in number with each single day, owing to huge amount of illiteracy, ignorance and also to newer analysis techniques being designed. There is no definite solution to it except for trial & error therapies. Although the research is on accelerated path, yet sometimes we become helpless to mysteries which almighty puts up through one way or other.

Just few days back had been to one of my favourite place of hanging out, which is nariman point with few of my friends. Life is so sweet that, every time I visit this place it allows me to view same place with different outlook & view getting beautified with every visit. This time I was watching same sun, which gives same sunset everyday for us to enjoy, there was time, when brightness of this great star got extremely dull, getting covered with clouds, although it provided much needed relief for everyone of us from heat, it was on verge of building story in my mind. As time passed few rays of sunlight broke the dark silence and made that scene worth pictured in my mind forever. Within few minutes sun was it's usual back of enlightening entire sky with it's mesmerising rays. Our footsteps only moved when it was complete sunset, but it left with me gasping for more of it, along with a thought that so many things try to cover light, yet it makes it's path through it's power to become path for us to follow, not only in terms of daily movements but through our way of living life. It always leaves with message that no matter what obstacle we are put to tackle with there has to be some way to move ahead of it with with a better sense of approach towards life & making it more than worth.

With this two phases of my post, i would just like end on a note that I wish, there might be some day when light of some treatment would definitely overcome darkness of the cancer I am analyzing. I consider myself extremely lucky to attach myself with such a research topic, hope that I would help in making small difference one way or other in making this research more profitable for human welfare.

Don't cry coz it's over, smile coz it happened

It's been long , it's been high, it's been low, it's been bright, it's been in light, it's been might, it's been in sight, it's been in night, it's been a bite, it's been right, it's been reason to fight, it's been guide, it has been on height, it's been tight, it's been a vibe, it has also been kind, it has been reason to hide...that's how life has been...

I am writing this post in mid of summer with rainfall in my eyes,allowing it to get evaporated in heat of sun, it's not necessary to show ur emotions that is what I felt, if people really understood it, they must have valued it, life is extremely sweet, it makes u c , make u go through every emotion, makes u understand the rules to play games, with newer game & newer rules to learn with every single unit of time...

It says who are we to decide how things should be arranged, we are here to think about it, we are here to make things work, given to us by life, why can't we take life as it comes & make it easier to follow, why we always make our say & make efforts to go in directions which leaves us nowhere or if we choose to follow that path why can't we stand by ourselves , why can't we be determined to accept that everything we excpect can't be achieved, why do we lose our patience,
but these are things which are bound to every human, even people who we are inspired to follow or consider great have phases of life where everything seems blurred, it is courage to face them or walking towards fear have made them achieve, which others just dream of without making that dream into their action..

People generally want to have every pleasure, without putting or going through grind which makes a staircase to any happiness..or success, the other side of happiness...we search for things which could rise our level of certain hormones up...is it so necessary that we can make ourselves happy only by few people or few things...why there can't be sense of genrosity or kindness from within...for one's own self...why do we be so tough for our own self...even it can get hurt, though the biggest healing power lies with in us... a true companion always stays somewhere around...

I always felt I had strongest of character who can hold himself in toughest of situations, wothout making others to sympathize for me, sometimes felt did I really judge myself well...from being so tough to have feeling of being a weak character who is jumbled up with reasons being few emotions, few people or few hormones...but atleast I ahve courage to walk beyond my fears...without allowing any thing to interfere with goals I have set....temproary turnmoils, hope not to make them come in my way...

Life is too short to stand at 1 point & do not allow other experiences to follow u, life needs u to gather whatever small or bigger gains u can...someday reasons for tears might become smile with tears, memories to cherish, it's not our duty to realize others what good or bad can we be to them, care or love for someone cannot be understood in realms of time nor it can be estimated by mere of a showoff...it can just be realized by a sense which lies whith evryone of us...people who understood will value it, but who are we to force ourselves on anyone...it is just a effort which wish sometimes makes u feel to have appreciation..liking someone should not be reason for disliking someone or one's ownself, there will always be wish that people who u made feel special, lived more for them then for own self should have been part of ur life the way u wish to...but everything we wish cannot be achieved...so better to cherish whatever u get, take things what life offers u, be kind with ur own self, care for even people who never appreciated ur effort & just wish that whatever life has to offer will be reason for good, just go through emotions, move with the flow & there will always be some reason waiting to make u smile...

Forward U move, or U move backwards,
U have to move,
U can't stay there, U can't be here,

U came into being, but again U move,
U try to grow, U move ahead,
U find Ur emotions but again U move ahead,
U lose Ur emotions, still U move ahead,
U become mature, again U move ahead,

U reach a point, where U want to remain,
Where U want to stand,
Where U want Ur presence felt, but
U still have to move ahead,
either for Ur self or for others, but
U move ahead &
If U try to be there, it becomes an obstacle,
may be for U, may be for others,

So,
Better U move ahead,
If U have a head, which U don't want to be dead,

but,
It's the way U move ahead,
the path U follow,
the people U choose to be with while moving ahead,

So,
Move ahead with a head on U, to head U to be ahead

Mystery or Just Mysterious

Alone U feel, alone U stand,
Alone U want, alone U give,
Alone U enjoy, alone U fight,
Alone U can be, but
can U really be alone or
U can never be alone,

Sometimes U want to be alone ,

Sometime U just become alone, but
R U really alone,
It is feeling of being alone,
which makes u alone,

but

U have some one to be with U,
to make U feel how u want,
to make U understand urself,
to make U know, that
U are not not here to be there, but
have a reason, which sometimes U know,
still U are unaware,
which I know, still can't make U aware &
even if i make u aware, U still feel my absence.

U sometimes find me following U,
sometimes being ahead of U,
sometimes being with U,
sometimes away from U, but
U never realize & even others don't feel of me being with them.

I just can be with U,
anytime, anywhere, but
only being silent, without
having any existence, without
making u realise of being with U.

Sometimes U may sense, sometimes U may not,
Sometimes U may find me, sometimes I would be masked,
Sometimes I would be Ur force, sometimes may become Ur weakness,

It's just that I can't leave U neither U can leave me,
It's U who is my origin &
reason for my existence,

so,

If U still think who I am,
then
It's Ur shawdow,
who was there, who is there & who will there for U...............

Thinking to think or thought for thinking to make it more thoughtful, is it necessary to have thought to be thoughtful or to keep thinking over something so as to be thoughtful, is it really that a thought makes u thoughtful or u think that u are mature to be more thoughtful then others, is it really that thoughtful to have an thought to make u think that u able to think thoughtfully...

How much this thought will make everyone thoughtful, I have no idea for that but then why should be I so thoughtful when it really doesn't makes sense to have so many thoughts for others & u still can't make them to think for u.

A single thought can make u, while u need many thoughts to break u, still we never realize importance of that one thought & have bigger worries over unnecessary things.

It is foolish to say that we should think only positively or have so called positive thoughts.
As per law of nature which says there should always be balance of whatever things or illusions present or being imagined. It really makes sense, if we look at the point of having an thought, if we emphasize so much only to have positive thoughts it implies we are making ourselves to have only brighter part of any of the things which we desire. although it is impossible & even nature doesn't permits to have only good things to happen in life, so that we can learn from whatever wrong happens to us or at least think about an solution over any negative thought we may have.

A thought is not bound by any limits whether to appear in any single individual or to echo the emotions of large number of people. Most of us who take time to think about what thoughts are running through us & try to analyze them, few of us try to find some interpretation for it, few of us become happy to have it, few others get lost in those thoughts, while most of think that we think what most people will never be able to catch up with, while few wise people try to find other people with similar emotions or thoughtful emotions.

Is it really that an few can think what others cannot, some think they can fool others by having an capability to think large with having thought over every single details of their thought. Does an person who knows reading & writing have more thoughts then a illiterate person, but in what sense do we label an person illiterate or immature, even without knowing that although educated person might have more thoughts to cheer for but is that he really can control them & put them to right use or is an beggar expert in that case, who although has nothing to cheer for, not sure about his future still has control over thoughts & has an hope to exist & survive, knowing the reason for which he has been sent.

How much thought then we can put up over an single thought then, no one can decide that range other then we itself, although we are social animals except that we say we have more level of intelligence, which is proved scientifically but have we ever thought that if try to be in the position of other animals & then look at what stage are humans more intelligence, we may get an different answer, thinking positively from that level it may seem that humans may appear biggest fool from that view, it may seem that although we have every thing we are still unhappy about some other thing or in simple terms unable to find our own self.

So what do we do then stop thinking or think more, think according to situation or think without any intention or just think without putting an thought to what we are thinking. Is there really any answer to it, may be it's there & that lies within us, although it sounds too much to say that we have thought for every thing which can be thought about, but really it seems true. It's just that we have one thought at one moment & others follow according to time frame or situation.
God has given such an power to distinguish between thoughts or an an situation just by an single thought.

A thought, what is it exactly, is it just an emotion or an companion which just changes when we need it to change, as we wish to change, some might do it 1 way & others in some different way.
So if we have so much power to bring about such an tremendous change still we tend to fall out on our own thoughts.

It's not that writing this down puts me out of thinking process or helps me to master the thought process but still an fair idea about an thought which is so nice to think upon thoughtfully.